Three Reasons You Fail at Changing Habits

As a fitness professional, it’s necessary that I take continuing education courses to keep my certifications active. Sometimes, I dread these courses. As we all do after a long haul of working in any career, I get in the mindset that my experience is enough and “I know what I’m doing.” Sometimes, the courses I choose are more review than anything – like I can skip straight to the test and pass without a problem.

Why did I choose this course, you ask? (Let’s pretend you did.) There are so many courses in nutrition, recovery, corrective exercise, weight loss, yada yada yada. I thought about some of these, but after actually paying attention to my interactions with my clients and friends, it became apparent that it really doesn’t matter what information I give them or what I know, if they don’t actually decide to change their behavior on their own. I soon made this connection for parenting as well, but that’s a topic I won’t delve into today.

To say the least, this course has been very interesting and eye-opening. Every chapter and every activity has made me think outside the box and pay attention to HOW I communicate with people, not just WHAT I say. There have been some serious “aha” moments that I hope I can remember and utilize moving forward. I’ve been trying to narrow down what I would talk about in my next blog, and decided to share a few little nuggets that stood out to me.

As the title suggests, it can feel impossible to change our behaviors. Which explains why addiction is so prominent in our culture, so much that we have multiple support groups to guide us into changing negative behavior. For my clients, and possibly for you, there are some habits you want to stop and some you want to start. The question often becomes “why can’t I change?”

Now, I am far from being a psychologist, but these few things I have learned make a lot of sense. I hope they elicit an epiphany for you too:

1. Your self-talk game is weak. We know we are all our own worst critic, but why can’t we be our biggest cheerleader too? The first barrier to changing your behavior is almost definitely your own brain. You literally lie to yourself about what you are capable of. Let’s say you want to lose 20lbs. Ask yourself honestly, “Do you think you can accomplish this goal?” What was your answer? If it was “no,” was it because you failed before, or don’t have support, or don’t have time, or….??? Now look at your reasoning, and determine if it’s TRUE, HELPFUL, INSPIRING, NECESSARY, KIND? Probably none of the above. Right now, think of an affirmation you would like to say about yourself. Ex: “I want to be healthy.” Now say: “I am healthy.” Say it every day, and make it the truth. Talk to yourself how you would talk to your best friend, because that’s what you deserve.
2. Your goals are too BIG. What a crazy thing to say right? That unicorn poster told you to “Dream Big” so what am I talking about? There’s nothing wrong with big goals, as long as you can scale it back. Make your first behavior change the simplest, easiest thing you can think of that makes sense. You want to eat more vegetables? Start with one single vegetable every day. You want to exercise more? Start with 2 squats every day. And when you succeed, celebrate! Tell yourself “nice job, me!” And if you add more veggies, or more squats it’s extra credit! Choose something you can easily be successful at and build momentum slowly from there. Don’t forget the celebration!
3. There’s no trigger! This is all about making your new simple habit a part of your routine. Your trigger is an an action or reminder that already exists in your routine that will remind you to do your new behavior. Your trigger for eating your vegetable could be to place it prominently in the fridge. Or always eat it after your sandwich at lunch. Your 2 squats could be what you do right after breakfast, or right before your shower. If it’s simple enough, and your trigger is already in place, the new habit will slide right into your routine like it was meant to be there!

What behaviors popped into your head while reading this? What can you start with? It doesn’t have to be as complicated as you think. Life is stressful enough and it’s ok to let yourself win, no matter the size of the victory.